I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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