its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
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