Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
