yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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