I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
nutella sex= disaster
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
