idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
