dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
