Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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