lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
