her vagina looked like bernie madoff
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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