i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Randomize
