Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Randomize
