From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
meet me or not, i'm out of control
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize