We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
