how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Randomize
