she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
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I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
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