i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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