Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize