You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
