Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Sext me about skeletons
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