4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Randomize