guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Randomize
