Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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