woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Randomize
