He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
