How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
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