I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize