you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Randomize
