Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
I'm both gender and math confused
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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