I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize