marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
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