if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Who died my cat blue again?
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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