He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
what the fuck happened to the tacos
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