She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
She just used a chaser for red wine.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
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