just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
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