I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
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