At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Randomize
