Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
