I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
