what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I supernannyed him into submission
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
