smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
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