those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
I think my vagina is haunted
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Pants are for mortals
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
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