the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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