i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
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