Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Randomize