today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
