i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
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