the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
