making cat noises will not fix the situation.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
