I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
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I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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