Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
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