If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize
