Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
