I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I forgot wine drunk hurts
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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