it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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