she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
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I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
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There's a naked man in my car right now.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
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