Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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