I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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