I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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