Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
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