i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
