yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Randomize
