Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
