Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Randomize
