Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
