so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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