if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
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